The Face Licker is a custom lollipop molded into a life-size version of your face. Yeah, that’s right, you can now have your beautiful face cloned into a sweeter, more lickable form. No salty stuff here. If you’ve always wanted to lick your own face or lick someone else’s face (like your celebrity crush) now you can.
Shakespeare speared honeys with iambic pentameter, Michael Jackson grabbed his crotch and shook it all over the camera, Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt. What’s your schtick? Well, you don’t need one, because nothing turns a woman on like a bit of good ‘ol fashion blunt honesty. So tell her how you really feel with this 2-in-1 romantic gesture teddy bear.
Do you have that one friend or family relative that say they don’t want anything for holidays or special occasions, but hold a grudge when they didn’t get anything? Well, with this little box, you can give that person something without actually giving them something, and they won’t have a reason to complain afterwards.
An ice cube tray designed to freeze coffee into over-sized coffee bean ice cubes that will add more strength and flavor to your drink. You know, so you can add some freshly frozen coffee beans to your coffee to make it stronger rather than dilute it. You could use any other tray but that just takes the novelty away.
With the Sriracha keychain bottle, you’ll never have to worry about a Sriracha-less meal again. Toss one in your bag or slide one in your pocket and you’ll be set to add some spicy goodness to your breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks – no matter where you go.
A calendar with a small area to write down your to-do list and a big fucking spinner to help you liberate yourself from the tedium of time management. Make this year your least organized and least productive with the Optional F*cks Calendar.
When you need a good cheek-to-cheek cleansing. but now you’ll never get confused on which side of the soap you used to clean your butt cheeks. unless you have a literal butt for a face, then it won’t matter which side you use.
Are your butt slapping skills getting rusty? Need to practice your butt pinching techniques? With the butt lamp Slap It you can practice until your heart’s content. The Slap It is a table lamp that lights up when you slap, pinch, or gently squeeze it. Slap Its are fitted with LEDs with 10 color options to choose from by turning…
A candle for every occasion, expecting a guest that you aren’t on good terms with? Bust out that middle finger candle and give em’ strong eye contact as you light it up, or maybe you’re having a date? There’s a candle for that too, use the double finger to send a subtle message that’s guaranteed to put a smile on…